And today is my birthday. 33 years. I don't feel a bit different than yesterday.
It's very rare for me to have a good birthday. I think my expectations may be too high. It also goes back to my family not making a big deal about birthdays. It was just another day. The only perk is that you didn't have to do your chores.
Today, I would like to thank my mother for ruining my celebration.
We went out to eat yesterday with my family. She yelled at me at the very beginning. This following a comment about a week ago that I should up my Prozac. Ummm, not on Prozac mom. Anyway, it wasn't really a yell. Just a couple of comments in that stern voice, motherly look kind of way. My response was, "Thank you mother."
She won't apologize because I'm sure she doesn't think she did anything wrong. Nor does she remember it.
The really bad part is that dh tried really hard to make this year special. Thanks mom, appreciate you ruining everything. After work today (yes, I work on my birthday) dh is taking me to get a massage and then we are going to dinner. At least that should be nice.
It's very rare for me to have a good birthday. I think my expectations may be too high. It also goes back to my family not making a big deal about birthdays. It was just another day. The only perk is that you didn't have to do your chores.
Today, I would like to thank my mother for ruining my celebration.
We went out to eat yesterday with my family. She yelled at me at the very beginning. This following a comment about a week ago that I should up my Prozac. Ummm, not on Prozac mom. Anyway, it wasn't really a yell. Just a couple of comments in that stern voice, motherly look kind of way. My response was, "Thank you mother."
She won't apologize because I'm sure she doesn't think she did anything wrong. Nor does she remember it.
The really bad part is that dh tried really hard to make this year special. Thanks mom, appreciate you ruining everything. After work today (yes, I work on my birthday) dh is taking me to get a massage and then we are going to dinner. At least that should be nice.
Labels: family news, me
Posted
by Hedda on Monday, April 28, 2008
We spent our first day of vacation in Miami, FL. It was quite weird. We went to Publix a couple of times. It's a grocery store. I've never been any where in the United States that looked more like I was in another country. More than half of the items in Publix were in Spanish. I thought Miami was still a part of the U.S.
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The cruise ship was absolutely incredible. We were on the Freedom of the Seas from Royal Caribbean. It is the largest cruise ship on the ocean. Our suite was very spacious. We could definitely tell it was larger than the other ships when we walked from one end to the other.
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Wednesday morning while I was off the boat and waiting on DH and weeman we received an emergency call. My brother-in-law passed away the night before. So much for our great Caribbean vacation.
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DH left the next day to return home and then back to his parents' place. That left me alone with weeman on the boat for three days. It was quite interesting.
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Don't ever fly standby with a 3 year old. Especially when you are trying to make sure you are at a funeral the next day at 9 am. They really don't understand that you can't get on the plane if there aren't any seats.
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When you aren't Catholic and you attend a mass it all seems strange. It was also strange to see the coffin draped with the United States flag when you know the person in it hated being in the military.
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This was my first visit to my in-laws in 3 years. It's hard for me to be there since that is where all the events of my angel happened. Top that off with the death of their son and it wasn't the most pleasant trip.
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My mother-in-law acts like we haven't lost a child. When I told her things would get better, not easier, but better she said it wouldn't. She told me you get better from a cold not from this. Don't you think I would understand what she is going through? She also said that she didn't have any family near her to lean on. She tried to put a guilt trip on DH because we don't live close. I explained that she has a sister that lives across the driveway and her parents are about 2 miles away. She said she can't depend on any of them.
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How does a 32 year old man have a sudden heart attack and die? The whole thing doesn't make any sense. It's also amazing how much DH and I learned about what has been going on with his family. Now it would be nice if they would just share some of this information with him. He is all they have left. They are going to have to depend on us. We will be the one's to take care of them.
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The cruise ship was absolutely incredible. We were on the Freedom of the Seas from Royal Caribbean. It is the largest cruise ship on the ocean. Our suite was very spacious. We could definitely tell it was larger than the other ships when we walked from one end to the other.
***************************************************************************************
Wednesday morning while I was off the boat and waiting on DH and weeman we received an emergency call. My brother-in-law passed away the night before. So much for our great Caribbean vacation.
***************************************************************************************
DH left the next day to return home and then back to his parents' place. That left me alone with weeman on the boat for three days. It was quite interesting.
***************************************************************************************
Don't ever fly standby with a 3 year old. Especially when you are trying to make sure you are at a funeral the next day at 9 am. They really don't understand that you can't get on the plane if there aren't any seats.
***************************************************************************************
When you aren't Catholic and you attend a mass it all seems strange. It was also strange to see the coffin draped with the United States flag when you know the person in it hated being in the military.
***************************************************************************************
This was my first visit to my in-laws in 3 years. It's hard for me to be there since that is where all the events of my angel happened. Top that off with the death of their son and it wasn't the most pleasant trip.
***************************************************************************************
My mother-in-law acts like we haven't lost a child. When I told her things would get better, not easier, but better she said it wouldn't. She told me you get better from a cold not from this. Don't you think I would understand what she is going through? She also said that she didn't have any family near her to lean on. She tried to put a guilt trip on DH because we don't live close. I explained that she has a sister that lives across the driveway and her parents are about 2 miles away. She said she can't depend on any of them.
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How does a 32 year old man have a sudden heart attack and die? The whole thing doesn't make any sense. It's also amazing how much DH and I learned about what has been going on with his family. Now it would be nice if they would just share some of this information with him. He is all they have left. They are going to have to depend on us. We will be the one's to take care of them.
Labels: cruise, family news, grief
Posted
by Hedda on Sunday, March 09, 2008
I worked in retail for 11 years. My favorite day of the year? BLACK FRIDAY!! It was the busiest day of the year and you barely had time to breathe much less think. It was wonderful. I mean it, I really loved it.
Shortly after our son died I left my retail job and moved back to Georgia. Home. The first free Black Friday I had I spent with my parents driving back to DC to pack up my house we could sell it. But finally, the next year I was able to go shopping on Black Friday. The mall near us has a lot of no name stores so I tend to drive to the north side of town to the nicer malls.
Every Thanksgiving my aunt and uncle come to visit with my parents. She usually goes shopping with us and then she and my mother leave early. No big deal. This year however, she walked in, sat down and said I'm taking my mother to Tanger tomorrow. No question about what everyone else was doing. Just a statement. It didn't really bother me until my mother said she was going with them.
Now I really am trying to start a tradition with my family. I want to get a group together and go shopping just like I see other people doing. Instead of that, I went to a mall 60 miles away with my three nephews. They went on their merry way and tried my best to find what I was looking for. I was not very successful. I drug bags around and had to call them to find me in the mall to take my stuff to the car. I couldn't find what I looking for and was pretty disheartened by the time I decided to leave. I think I marked two people off my list.
My mother ended up staying home. She said she felt bad for not going with me, but she didn't know what else to do. I told her it was okay. I would have a little girl and one day she and I would go together one day. Nice tradition, huh?
Shortly after our son died I left my retail job and moved back to Georgia. Home. The first free Black Friday I had I spent with my parents driving back to DC to pack up my house we could sell it. But finally, the next year I was able to go shopping on Black Friday. The mall near us has a lot of no name stores so I tend to drive to the north side of town to the nicer malls.
Every Thanksgiving my aunt and uncle come to visit with my parents. She usually goes shopping with us and then she and my mother leave early. No big deal. This year however, she walked in, sat down and said I'm taking my mother to Tanger tomorrow. No question about what everyone else was doing. Just a statement. It didn't really bother me until my mother said she was going with them.
Now I really am trying to start a tradition with my family. I want to get a group together and go shopping just like I see other people doing. Instead of that, I went to a mall 60 miles away with my three nephews. They went on their merry way and tried my best to find what I was looking for. I was not very successful. I drug bags around and had to call them to find me in the mall to take my stuff to the car. I couldn't find what I looking for and was pretty disheartened by the time I decided to leave. I think I marked two people off my list.
My mother ended up staying home. She said she felt bad for not going with me, but she didn't know what else to do. I told her it was okay. I would have a little girl and one day she and I would go together one day. Nice tradition, huh?
Labels: family news, shopping
Posted
by Hedda on Saturday, November 24, 2007
I just returned from the airport after dropping off my boys. They are going to The in-laws for my brother-in-law's wedding. I made the decision a little over a year ago that I wasn't going. The wedding is the day before my angel's birthday. We were visiting them when my water broke. Most of September is very hard for me to deal with. I don't think anyone truly understands that.
Dh finally told his mom that I wasn't coming last week. I don't think she was very supportive of my decision.
The bride and groom have been engaged since January of '06. When I found out the wedding was in September (not the actual date) I asked if they would possibly move it considering the circumstances. The answer was that decisions had already been made (no money spent) so they couldn't move it. The wedding was 19 months away.
About 6 months after that I found the actual date. I knew then there was no way I was going. I had to make sure I took care of myself. I just didn't realize that packing my baby and watching him leave would be so hard. It was like someone took my heart when I saw him walking through the airport.
Dh finally told his mom that I wasn't coming last week. I don't think she was very supportive of my decision.
The bride and groom have been engaged since January of '06. When I found out the wedding was in September (not the actual date) I asked if they would possibly move it considering the circumstances. The answer was that decisions had already been made (no money spent) so they couldn't move it. The wedding was 19 months away.
About 6 months after that I found the actual date. I knew then there was no way I was going. I had to make sure I took care of myself. I just didn't realize that packing my baby and watching him leave would be so hard. It was like someone took my heart when I saw him walking through the airport.
Labels: family news, me, stupid stuff
Posted
by Hedda on Monday, September 03, 2007
My brother was deployed today. He left for the Horn of Africa. Everyone keeps asking if that is a combat area. In fact it is. I'm not sure where he is going. Actually, neither is he. But this morning he got on a plan headed for Norfolk, VA and then hopped a military flight to Africa.
This is not the first time this war has affected me. My dh spent a year in Baghdad. He let when weeman was 6 months old. It was hard. This December my oldest nephew is deploying to Fallujah. I guess it's a good thing I support our troops and the war.
My brother and I haven't always gotten along. Most people say that when they are teenagers. I could say that until about 4 years ago. He was stationed in Seattle and met a wonderful woman. While he was there, I lost my first child. He called while I was in the hospital multiple times. I was amazed.
I helped plan their wedding. Never in my life had I been able to work with my brother without being insulted by him. He was very appreciative of everything I did.
He has 4 days to kill before he left. He came "home" to wait. Since I am out of school we were able to spend a lot of time together. I watched him repack all of his stuff from 5 bags to 3. I took him to find speakers to play his iPod on. We ate lunch together every day. Never once did we argue. And when I said goodbye to him last night (he left a 4 this morning) he said thanks for helping me with everything.
This is not the first time this war has affected me. My dh spent a year in Baghdad. He let when weeman was 6 months old. It was hard. This December my oldest nephew is deploying to Fallujah. I guess it's a good thing I support our troops and the war.
My brother and I haven't always gotten along. Most people say that when they are teenagers. I could say that until about 4 years ago. He was stationed in Seattle and met a wonderful woman. While he was there, I lost my first child. He called while I was in the hospital multiple times. I was amazed.
I helped plan their wedding. Never in my life had I been able to work with my brother without being insulted by him. He was very appreciative of everything I did.
He has 4 days to kill before he left. He came "home" to wait. Since I am out of school we were able to spend a lot of time together. I watched him repack all of his stuff from 5 bags to 3. I took him to find speakers to play his iPod on. We ate lunch together every day. Never once did we argue. And when I said goodbye to him last night (he left a 4 this morning) he said thanks for helping me with everything.
Sunday night the whole family went to dinner to say goodbye. My sister-in-law took a picture of all the boys. I have a really bad feeling about this deployment. I hope this in not the last picture I will have of him.
(top middle:wee man, middle row:Todd, Stephen, front row: Dad, Scott-deployed, dh)
Labels: family news, military
Posted
by Hedda on Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Sunday morning around 5:30 my grandmother passed away.
As I said before, we were not very close. I went with my parents to help with whatever was needed. I was able to look through pictures and hear all of the stories.
I did not know that my grandmother had taught my father all of the Bible he knows. He is a preacher that is a big statement.
The funeral was yesterday and I learned more about the godliness of my grandmother.
Rest well grandma. Take care of my little boy.
As I said before, we were not very close. I went with my parents to help with whatever was needed. I was able to look through pictures and hear all of the stories.
I did not know that my grandmother had taught my father all of the Bible he knows. He is a preacher that is a big statement.
The funeral was yesterday and I learned more about the godliness of my grandmother.
Rest well grandma. Take care of my little boy.
Labels: family news
Posted
by Hedda on Wednesday, June 06, 2007
We received a phone call yesterday that my grandmother was in the hospital and was not expected to make it through the night.
She made it through the night. Stinker.
I know that sounds bad, but this couldn't be a worse time. This is the last week of school for my nephew, my mom, and myself. I have a final on Friday. My nephew starts finals Wednesday. Mom needs to be at the hospital with my dad, but won't go because she feels like she can't miss school this last week. I have one brother working out of town right now and my other brother is in the process of transferring within the Army.
Today it was confirmed that grandma had a massive stroke. She is bleeding into her brain. She has a kidney infection and her kidneys have all but shut down. And to top it all off, her blood pressure is extremely high. She is still unconcious. This is all on top of her having Alzheimer's.
I know I sound callous, but my family is not very close to these grandparents. We haven't spent very much time with them since we were all young teenagers. We've just lost touch.
Dad is the one I feel bad for. It's his mom.
Remember us in the next few days.
Labels: family news