I tried to get Connor's hair cut while he had his staples in and no one would do it. They were afraid of pulling the staples. Wimps! I was finally able to get his hair cut this past Saturday. I think we have entered the little boy stage and left the baby stage. Those of you who know me well know that I don't cry very often. I shed a tear over this. I don't want my little boy to grow up. And this all happened the day after my oldest nephew graduated from high school. I swear. He was born just yesterday. And tomorrow. He's. Going. to. Join. The Army.
So for now, this will have to wait.
Buuuu!
Is this my seat?
Now I'm driving the bus!
Can you see me?
Look really hard. 
I need note cards to study from! 
This school thing is really hard! Posted
by Hedda on Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I am stealing this from another blog because I thought it was neat and I was compelled to do it. When you have finished reading mine, do your own, post it on your own blog and then leave me a comment so I can learn more about you.
I AM: One of the strongest people I know.
I SAID: I would be there for my friend during her son’s funeral. I wasn’t.
I WANT: To finish my degree.
I WISH: I had gotten into the School of Music.
I HATE: That I work for a Christian organization who’s integrity is questionable.
I MISS: My firstborn son, Garrett.
I FEAR: Having another premature baby.
I HEAR: My desk radio and the air conditioner.
I WONDER: When is the right time to have another child.
I REGRET: Not finishing my music degree before getting married.
I AM NOT: regretful for putting my son in daycare.
I DANCE: with my son, Connor.
I SING: VERY loudly in the car ALL the time.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As much of a perfectionist as I think I am.
I MADE: Cross stitch birth announcements for some of my friends.
I WRITE: VERY boring blogs.
I CONFUSE: “r”’s and “w”’s when I talk sometimes.
I NEED: A job closer to home.
I SHOULD: Be easier on my husband. He tries really hard.
I START: Too many projects without finishing the ones I’m already doing.
I FINISH: Only the projects that I like.
I BELIEVE: Church is not for my generation.
I KNOW: I can handle just about anything thrown my way.
I CAN: Take care of myself. I don’t need a man.
I CAN’T: Let go. I’m a control freak.
I SEE: Stuff I should be working on before I get fired.
I BLOG: Because I felt left out and wanted a place to help others deal with prematurity and the loss of their children.
I READ: Books about law mysteries.
I AM AROUSED BY: Someone who gets me.
IT PISSES ME OFF: That people have no idea how to drive.
I FIND: I get pissier as I get older.
I LIKE: The unconditional love I get from my son.
I LOVE: My family. There are always there when I need them. And sometimes when I don’t. ;)
I AM: One of the strongest people I know.
I SAID: I would be there for my friend during her son’s funeral. I wasn’t.
I WANT: To finish my degree.
I WISH: I had gotten into the School of Music.
I HATE: That I work for a Christian organization who’s integrity is questionable.
I MISS: My firstborn son, Garrett.
I FEAR: Having another premature baby.
I HEAR: My desk radio and the air conditioner.
I WONDER: When is the right time to have another child.
I REGRET: Not finishing my music degree before getting married.
I AM NOT: regretful for putting my son in daycare.
I DANCE: with my son, Connor.
I SING: VERY loudly in the car ALL the time.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As much of a perfectionist as I think I am.
I MADE: Cross stitch birth announcements for some of my friends.
I WRITE: VERY boring blogs.
I CONFUSE: “r”’s and “w”’s when I talk sometimes.
I NEED: A job closer to home.
I SHOULD: Be easier on my husband. He tries really hard.
I START: Too many projects without finishing the ones I’m already doing.
I FINISH: Only the projects that I like.
I BELIEVE: Church is not for my generation.
I KNOW: I can handle just about anything thrown my way.
I CAN: Take care of myself. I don’t need a man.
I CAN’T: Let go. I’m a control freak.
I SEE: Stuff I should be working on before I get fired.
I BLOG: Because I felt left out and wanted a place to help others deal with prematurity and the loss of their children.
I READ: Books about law mysteries.
I AM AROUSED BY: Someone who gets me.
IT PISSES ME OFF: That people have no idea how to drive.
I FIND: I get pissier as I get older.
I LIKE: The unconditional love I get from my son.
I LOVE: My family. There are always there when I need them. And sometimes when I don’t. ;)
Posted
by Hedda on Friday, May 26, 2006
We had our first trauma while I was off from work.
I sent Connor to daycare the first day I was off. No, I'm not a bad parent who wanted a day off. I was painting his bathroom and figured it was better he be at daycare then in the paint bucket. I received a call at 3:30 letting me know Connor had fallen off a ride-on toy and hit his head on the fence on the playground. The lady said the cut on his head would probably need a stitch or a butterfly. I thought they were probably overreacting.
I laid my paint brush down and took off to the daycare. My brother was driving by the daycare and said he would stop by and look at the cut. He took one look and said it needed something. It didn't look too bad, but I know that head wounds can bleed for a while, so I thought I would take him to the pediatrician.
Did you know that pediatricians cannot do stitches? Well, at least mine can't. I ended up going to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta Immediate Care to get everything taken care of. That's two co-pays instead of one. I was not happy. The coolest thing was the way they numbed the site they were going to stitch. They used some type of gel instead of using a shot. The only problem is that it takes 30 to 45 minutes to work. My son. He ran around like nothing was wrong. Me? I sat there like nothing was wrong. You may wonder why. Wouldn't most mothers freak out? Try spending some time in the NICU or a week in the hospital after spending time in the NICU and see how much those little things bother you.
My wonderful husband showed up right before we went back to see the doctor. He's so strong. (I'm being sarcastic.) He sees an x-ray, he passes out. We go back and they put Connor in this papoose thing to keep him from moving, which totally freaked him out. I think he would have been better if he just layed on the gurney. The doctor gets ready to wash out the laceration with saline and the nurse asked Ken if he was ok. Now, I had my back to him and wasn't paying attention. I turned around and he was white as a ghost. My reaction? "Put your head between your knees."
MY BABY GOT 4 STAPLES IN HIS HEAD. HIS HEAD. It's not right. The nurse gave him a popsicle afterwards. He was fine. I was fine. Ken? He had to lay on the gurney for a while so he could walk out to leave.
Today we are going to get the staples out. Ken is not going.
I sent Connor to daycare the first day I was off. No, I'm not a bad parent who wanted a day off. I was painting his bathroom and figured it was better he be at daycare then in the paint bucket. I received a call at 3:30 letting me know Connor had fallen off a ride-on toy and hit his head on the fence on the playground. The lady said the cut on his head would probably need a stitch or a butterfly. I thought they were probably overreacting.
I laid my paint brush down and took off to the daycare. My brother was driving by the daycare and said he would stop by and look at the cut. He took one look and said it needed something. It didn't look too bad, but I know that head wounds can bleed for a while, so I thought I would take him to the pediatrician.
Did you know that pediatricians cannot do stitches? Well, at least mine can't. I ended up going to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta Immediate Care to get everything taken care of. That's two co-pays instead of one. I was not happy. The coolest thing was the way they numbed the site they were going to stitch. They used some type of gel instead of using a shot. The only problem is that it takes 30 to 45 minutes to work. My son. He ran around like nothing was wrong. Me? I sat there like nothing was wrong. You may wonder why. Wouldn't most mothers freak out? Try spending some time in the NICU or a week in the hospital after spending time in the NICU and see how much those little things bother you.
My wonderful husband showed up right before we went back to see the doctor. He's so strong. (I'm being sarcastic.) He sees an x-ray, he passes out. We go back and they put Connor in this papoose thing to keep him from moving, which totally freaked him out. I think he would have been better if he just layed on the gurney. The doctor gets ready to wash out the laceration with saline and the nurse asked Ken if he was ok. Now, I had my back to him and wasn't paying attention. I turned around and he was white as a ghost. My reaction? "Put your head between your knees."
MY BABY GOT 4 STAPLES IN HIS HEAD. HIS HEAD. It's not right. The nurse gave him a popsicle afterwards. He was fine. I was fine. Ken? He had to lay on the gurney for a while so he could walk out to leave.
Today we are going to get the staples out. Ken is not going.
Check out my civil war bandage
What head wound?
I promise not to fall off the chair when I climb on it.
Posted
by Hedda on Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Last week I received this email from my friend who just lost her son to preemiehood:
"Isn't this grieving thing suppose to get easier? I miss Caleb so much. Today has sucked!!"
I forwarded the email to my husband with the response, " I hurt so much for her."
I remember those feelings. I remember saying those words about my son, Garrett. I would get up in the morning and the day would be absolutely beautiful. For the first couple of weeks I would make sure I had something to do outside of the house so I would have to take a shower and get dressed. But something would always happen to make me remember and grief would come over me and I would end up in tears. It could be something as simple as someone laughing near me or someone getting upset with me over something really stupid.
My mom called every day to check on me. I refused to go back to work until my maternity leave was over. I would sob on the phone to her that I thought grief was supposed to get easier. I remember her saying that she believed God allows grief to come in waves. If he allowed it to hit us all at once, we wouldn't be able to handle it. At the time it gave me very little comfort. I'm a very strong person and the thought that I would keep breaking down like that was almost more than I could bear.
My friend is also a very strong person. I'm amazed at how alike we are. We say we were separated at birth. We have done almost all of the same things. It's scary. The only thing I knew to tell her was how I dealt with the grief. It's different for everyone, but I wanted to be of some help.
Ten months after Garrett passed away his brother, Connor, was born. Connor will never take his brother's place, but he sure does bring a lot of joy to this family. There are days I look at Connor and know that he would not be here if his brother had lived. Then I feel guilty for loving Connor so much. I guess that is the plight of being a parent.
My friend is currently pregnant with her second child. There is a very likely possibility this baby could be premature also. I know that MWEFA will never take the place of Caleb, but I know that he/she will bring much joy to that family. And Caleb will be watching over them for the rest of their lives.
My friend wonders if Garrett and Caleb are in heaven paying together. I told her that when I left the hospital after Caleb passed away that I told Garrett to take care of Caleb and show him the ropes. I said I knew they were playing together and were going to BFFs like we are. She smiled.
Every night when Connor goes to bed I tell him to sleep with angels. It gives me comfort to know that Garrett and Caleb are watching over him.
"Isn't this grieving thing suppose to get easier? I miss Caleb so much. Today has sucked!!"
I forwarded the email to my husband with the response, " I hurt so much for her."
I remember those feelings. I remember saying those words about my son, Garrett. I would get up in the morning and the day would be absolutely beautiful. For the first couple of weeks I would make sure I had something to do outside of the house so I would have to take a shower and get dressed. But something would always happen to make me remember and grief would come over me and I would end up in tears. It could be something as simple as someone laughing near me or someone getting upset with me over something really stupid.
My mom called every day to check on me. I refused to go back to work until my maternity leave was over. I would sob on the phone to her that I thought grief was supposed to get easier. I remember her saying that she believed God allows grief to come in waves. If he allowed it to hit us all at once, we wouldn't be able to handle it. At the time it gave me very little comfort. I'm a very strong person and the thought that I would keep breaking down like that was almost more than I could bear.
My friend is also a very strong person. I'm amazed at how alike we are. We say we were separated at birth. We have done almost all of the same things. It's scary. The only thing I knew to tell her was how I dealt with the grief. It's different for everyone, but I wanted to be of some help.
Ten months after Garrett passed away his brother, Connor, was born. Connor will never take his brother's place, but he sure does bring a lot of joy to this family. There are days I look at Connor and know that he would not be here if his brother had lived. Then I feel guilty for loving Connor so much. I guess that is the plight of being a parent.
My friend is currently pregnant with her second child. There is a very likely possibility this baby could be premature also. I know that MWEFA will never take the place of Caleb, but I know that he/she will bring much joy to that family. And Caleb will be watching over them for the rest of their lives.
My friend wonders if Garrett and Caleb are in heaven paying together. I told her that when I left the hospital after Caleb passed away that I told Garrett to take care of Caleb and show him the ropes. I said I knew they were playing together and were going to BFFs like we are. She smiled.
Every night when Connor goes to bed I tell him to sleep with angels. It gives me comfort to know that Garrett and Caleb are watching over him.
Posted
by Hedda on Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Apparenly you all want to have a conversation about being Christ-like. Well, I will start.
I am the daughter of a preacher who is now an associational missionary. I gave my life to Christ when I was 5 years old and was baptized when I was 6 years old. I have had many struggles in my Christian life and by no means profess to be perfect, but I am forgiven by God's grace.
In the past couple of weeks I have helped another friend deal with people judging her because she professes to be a Christian but she is unhappy with the way she has been treated by a couple of churches. While many have backed her, a close friend of hers has said that she is not Christ-like and that she should not judge.
The only person that can decide who is and is not being Christ-like is Christ himself. He knows the heart of each and every person. God has given us as humans free will to live as we want. That's why Jesus had to come and die on the cross.
As the Bible says, "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone." Before you judge someone else, look at your own life and see if you are without sin.
The purpose of my last post was to vent. I am allowed that. It is my site.
I am the daughter of a preacher who is now an associational missionary. I gave my life to Christ when I was 5 years old and was baptized when I was 6 years old. I have had many struggles in my Christian life and by no means profess to be perfect, but I am forgiven by God's grace.
In the past couple of weeks I have helped another friend deal with people judging her because she professes to be a Christian but she is unhappy with the way she has been treated by a couple of churches. While many have backed her, a close friend of hers has said that she is not Christ-like and that she should not judge.
The only person that can decide who is and is not being Christ-like is Christ himself. He knows the heart of each and every person. God has given us as humans free will to live as we want. That's why Jesus had to come and die on the cross.
As the Bible says, "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone." Before you judge someone else, look at your own life and see if you are without sin.
The purpose of my last post was to vent. I am allowed that. It is my site.