It's Friday and I ought to be excited, but I'm not. I have the blahs and I don't know why. Ken told me last night that he thought I was just going back to school for a year. Like I can finish 15 or more classes in a year. He never listens. MEN!!
I need a huge shopping spree or something. Maybe a trip to New York. I'm headed there next Thursday with my nephew's high school band. Am I crazy or what? Seventy of so high school kids in New York and I can't go out drinking.
I wanted my blog to be a little more fun and right now I'm a little down so I want bring the rest of you down. Hopefully I will have a funfilled weekend.
I need a huge shopping spree or something. Maybe a trip to New York. I'm headed there next Thursday with my nephew's high school band. Am I crazy or what? Seventy of so high school kids in New York and I can't go out drinking.
I wanted my blog to be a little more fun and right now I'm a little down so I want bring the rest of you down. Hopefully I will have a funfilled weekend.
Posted
by Hedda on Friday, March 24, 2006
Okay, I don't want any crap because I haven't updated in years. You see, first of all I want to give you all plenty of time to respond to my cry for advice. Thanks for the help. I'll let you know what happens. Second, I auditioned for the School of Music at Georgia State University Friday. That went much better than I expected. I was pleased with my performance.
So now for the story. I woke up Friday with a head cold. Great! Just what I needed. I had been felling nauseous for four days and was beginning to think I might be pregnant. (Not what I wanted) While I was waiting for a recital to start at GSU I realized that I probably had a UTI and should go to the doctor and get some meds. I have the best doctor. They are open until 9 on Fridays and you can just walk in. So I did. They decided I had a gastrointestinal virus. I was running a fever and felt really bad and Ken was supposed to work at the race the next morning so I decided to stay at Mom's so she could help me watch Connor the next day.
I woke up Saturday with a pounding sinus headache, but felt okay other than that. I watched Connor and Mom play for a while and then took a nap. About 11:30 I woke up and had a pretty sharp pain in my lower right abdomen. When I layed down it got worse. Eventually I was doubled over in pain and crying so Mom decided to play ambulance and rush my to the ER. The ER is a whole different post, but if you spent 9 hours on a strecher in the hall I don't think you would be happy.
Anyway, it was not my appendix and the doctor decided to turn me over to the surgeon on call. They kept me for observation. I was put on antibiotics which I had an allergic reaction to. (I still have the rash.) I was sent home Monday and still don't know what the pain was from. The surgeon said, "I think she just has the flu." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? I was hospitalized for the flu? I don't think so. Two shots of demarol and a shot of morphine did not get rid of the pain. Something was seriously wrong.
So that is the short version of the past week of my life. I am better, but still in some pain. I'm supposed to go back to the doctor on Friday. Don't tell Ken, but I'm not going. What's the point? He never did figure out what was wrong. And I can't bear the thought of how much that little stay is going to cost me.
So now for the story. I woke up Friday with a head cold. Great! Just what I needed. I had been felling nauseous for four days and was beginning to think I might be pregnant. (Not what I wanted) While I was waiting for a recital to start at GSU I realized that I probably had a UTI and should go to the doctor and get some meds. I have the best doctor. They are open until 9 on Fridays and you can just walk in. So I did. They decided I had a gastrointestinal virus. I was running a fever and felt really bad and Ken was supposed to work at the race the next morning so I decided to stay at Mom's so she could help me watch Connor the next day.
I woke up Saturday with a pounding sinus headache, but felt okay other than that. I watched Connor and Mom play for a while and then took a nap. About 11:30 I woke up and had a pretty sharp pain in my lower right abdomen. When I layed down it got worse. Eventually I was doubled over in pain and crying so Mom decided to play ambulance and rush my to the ER. The ER is a whole different post, but if you spent 9 hours on a strecher in the hall I don't think you would be happy.
Anyway, it was not my appendix and the doctor decided to turn me over to the surgeon on call. They kept me for observation. I was put on antibiotics which I had an allergic reaction to. (I still have the rash.) I was sent home Monday and still don't know what the pain was from. The surgeon said, "I think she just has the flu." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? I was hospitalized for the flu? I don't think so. Two shots of demarol and a shot of morphine did not get rid of the pain. Something was seriously wrong.
So that is the short version of the past week of my life. I am better, but still in some pain. I'm supposed to go back to the doctor on Friday. Don't tell Ken, but I'm not going. What's the point? He never did figure out what was wrong. And I can't bear the thought of how much that little stay is going to cost me.
Posted
by Hedda on Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Okay, internet. I am coming to you for advice, so don't let me down.
Just in case you don't know, let me give you some background. September 2003 I was 28 weeks pregnant when Ken and I went to Boston for his cousin's wedding. The night we arrived my water broke and a few days later I delivered a 2 pound 15 ounce boy. As you can see from looking at my site, he did not make it. He now watches over us from heaven.
This past New Year's Eve my BIL finally got engaged. It took them awhile to pick a date. Ken told me this past week it was going to be September 2007. Yesterday it hit me that I would be going to Boston in September for a wedding. I don't know if anyone else can see how this is a little hard for me, but I'm not sure how I can do it.
Here's where the advice comes in. Ken is very defensive of his family. I know the best way to tell him how I feel is to just tell him how I feel. But when he comes back all defensive what would you do? Or do you have any other ideas? Now don't leave me hanging dear internet. I need your help.
Just in case you don't know, let me give you some background. September 2003 I was 28 weeks pregnant when Ken and I went to Boston for his cousin's wedding. The night we arrived my water broke and a few days later I delivered a 2 pound 15 ounce boy. As you can see from looking at my site, he did not make it. He now watches over us from heaven.
This past New Year's Eve my BIL finally got engaged. It took them awhile to pick a date. Ken told me this past week it was going to be September 2007. Yesterday it hit me that I would be going to Boston in September for a wedding. I don't know if anyone else can see how this is a little hard for me, but I'm not sure how I can do it.
Here's where the advice comes in. Ken is very defensive of his family. I know the best way to tell him how I feel is to just tell him how I feel. But when he comes back all defensive what would you do? Or do you have any other ideas? Now don't leave me hanging dear internet. I need your help.
Posted
by Hedda on Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Why is it that there are some memories that you never want to lose and those are the ones that fade the fastet, and the memories you wish would long be forgotten are forever etched in your mind?
A few weeks ago I was reading a friend's blog and read about a sad story. (February 21) I clicked the link and was surprised to read about a woman who had experienced the loss of her son that was eleven days old. ELEVEN DAYS OLD! The same age as Garrett when he passed. SInce I read her entry about her son passing I have been keeping up with that blog also.
Her post from this weekend made me cry. The emotions that were stirred up were like being there with her. A lot of what she said I can remember saying or thinking. How do you leave your son when all you want to do is pick him up and take him home? I remember looking at Garrett's casket and being surprised at how small it was. You don't even think about those kinds of things.
The worst part of losing an infant is trying to find someone who has been through the same thing. Someone who understands. That can help you grieve, or allow you to grieve the way you see fit. All of the good intentioned people say the right things, but they don't understand. People who lose children that are 16 years old, they don't get it either. They had time with their child. And I'm not trying to belittle what they have been through, but it's not the same.
Memories just suck sometimes.
A few weeks ago I was reading a friend's blog and read about a sad story. (February 21) I clicked the link and was surprised to read about a woman who had experienced the loss of her son that was eleven days old. ELEVEN DAYS OLD! The same age as Garrett when he passed. SInce I read her entry about her son passing I have been keeping up with that blog also.
Her post from this weekend made me cry. The emotions that were stirred up were like being there with her. A lot of what she said I can remember saying or thinking. How do you leave your son when all you want to do is pick him up and take him home? I remember looking at Garrett's casket and being surprised at how small it was. You don't even think about those kinds of things.
The worst part of losing an infant is trying to find someone who has been through the same thing. Someone who understands. That can help you grieve, or allow you to grieve the way you see fit. All of the good intentioned people say the right things, but they don't understand. People who lose children that are 16 years old, they don't get it either. They had time with their child. And I'm not trying to belittle what they have been through, but it's not the same.
Memories just suck sometimes.
Posted
by Hedda on Monday, March 13, 2006
My mother keeps asking my what the difference between a blog, IM and a website are. I don't really know how to explain a blog other than to say it is a journal. I haven't had a blog because I hate to journal.
Recently, a friend of mine had a preemie. He was born three weeks sooner than my little boy. I was scared for both of them. You see, my little boy is now an angel. At least that's we say. His name was Garrett Pearce and we only had him for eleven days. I've wanted his life to mean something, to be able to use what happened to us to help others. When she had her baby I was very firm with her about calling me whenever. She finally did.
At this point, I hope to be able to do more of that. Help women who are in the middle of a NICU stay with a baby they just want to pick up and bring home.
I don't want this to be all about preemies. I want to use this as an outlet for anyone who needs it as that, but also as a way to tell everyone what's going on with me. Hopefully I will be able to keep it updated. We'll see how it goes.
My mother keeps asking my what the difference between a blog, IM and a website are. I don't really know how to explain a blog other than to say it is a journal. I haven't had a blog because I hate to journal.
Recently, a friend of mine had a preemie. He was born three weeks sooner than my little boy. I was scared for both of them. You see, my little boy is now an angel. At least that's we say. His name was Garrett Pearce and we only had him for eleven days. I've wanted his life to mean something, to be able to use what happened to us to help others. When she had her baby I was very firm with her about calling me whenever. She finally did.
At this point, I hope to be able to do more of that. Help women who are in the middle of a NICU stay with a baby they just want to pick up and bring home.
I don't want this to be all about preemies. I want to use this as an outlet for anyone who needs it as that, but also as a way to tell everyone what's going on with me. Hopefully I will be able to keep it updated. We'll see how it goes.