Yesterday was the third anniversary of my son's death.
As I was changing classes I passed a park where some guy was playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes. It made me well up. I thought it was very appropriate.
I wonder sometimes what life would be like if Garrett had not passed away. C would not be here. We probably would be living in a different state and I would have finished school by now. Then I think about the kind of life Garrett would have had. He had severe brain damage and Cerebral Palsey. I believe that if the Lord wanted he could have healed him, but for some reason he didn't. I'm not sure I will ever know what that reason was.
C now fills my life with joy. As much as I miss Garrett I would not want to have my life without C. Life is funny that way sometimes.
As I was changing classes I passed a park where some guy was playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes. It made me well up. I thought it was very appropriate.
I wonder sometimes what life would be like if Garrett had not passed away. C would not be here. We probably would be living in a different state and I would have finished school by now. Then I think about the kind of life Garrett would have had. He had severe brain damage and Cerebral Palsey. I believe that if the Lord wanted he could have healed him, but for some reason he didn't. I'm not sure I will ever know what that reason was.
C now fills my life with joy. As much as I miss Garrett I would not want to have my life without C. Life is funny that way sometimes.
Posted
by Hedda on Thursday, September 21, 2006
I have found that I haven't had much time to write much or much to write about. I don't think you want to read about me going to class or my 3 hour naps.
I'm considering taking down my blog. Not very many people read or comment. I just don't know what to do.
I'm considering taking down my blog. Not very many people read or comment. I just don't know what to do.
Posted
by Hedda on Tuesday, September 19, 2006
After spending the day walking around campus in wet pants yesterday, I was miserable. It was raining yesterday and I stepped in a puddle. The bottoms of my jeans were wet for the rest of the day. I was cold and it pretty much sucked.
I went to the school of music to see what I would need to do to be a music minor. Apparently it takes 18 credit hours. She went through the whole list of what I needed to do and then I asked about all of the music classes I had already taken. She looked at them and said I had already completed the minor. That really perked up my day. I was really excited.
I came home to take a nap. I'm still behind from the weekend. (My brother was here and we were all up late.) I had been asleep maybe 10 minutes when my baby's daycare called and said he had busted his head with a play telephone. She thought he would need a couple of stitches again. Off we went to urgent care where he got 5 staples. I swear, he's an accident waiting to happen. The staples are right behind where he got staples last time.
Now I have loads of homework. I have two projects due next week. I must have been crazy to go back to school with a two year old. Although, I did find out that I should be able to graduate next December. Hopefully today will be better.
I went to the school of music to see what I would need to do to be a music minor. Apparently it takes 18 credit hours. She went through the whole list of what I needed to do and then I asked about all of the music classes I had already taken. She looked at them and said I had already completed the minor. That really perked up my day. I was really excited.
I came home to take a nap. I'm still behind from the weekend. (My brother was here and we were all up late.) I had been asleep maybe 10 minutes when my baby's daycare called and said he had busted his head with a play telephone. She thought he would need a couple of stitches again. Off we went to urgent care where he got 5 staples. I swear, he's an accident waiting to happen. The staples are right behind where he got staples last time.
Now I have loads of homework. I have two projects due next week. I must have been crazy to go back to school with a two year old. Although, I did find out that I should be able to graduate next December. Hopefully today will be better.
Posted
by Hedda on Thursday, September 14, 2006
My Sweet Baby Boy,
It has been three years since you came to see me and your daddy. I don't think either of us was quite ready, but you were ready to be seen. You had spent weeks with me growing and kicking and teaching me what it was to be a mother and I was taking it all for granted. For some reason God decided to give me a crash course.
The first thing I heard from you was a little cry. You were not much bigger than a couple of hands but you were strong. You fought like no one I had ever seen before. No one deserves to go through what you went through, but you handled it all like a champ.
I never got to hold you and sing to you like most mommas do. I never got to tell you how much I love you every day. I will never get to see you grow up and follow your dreams. But I know that you are watching me and daddy and your brother every day. You are my speacial angel. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and miss you. I am sorry that I could not do more to ease your pain.
You are my sunshine. You taught me more than I could have learned in all my life in eleven short days. I love you my sweet little baby boy. Have a Happy Birthday!
Love,
Momma
It has been three years since you came to see me and your daddy. I don't think either of us was quite ready, but you were ready to be seen. You had spent weeks with me growing and kicking and teaching me what it was to be a mother and I was taking it all for granted. For some reason God decided to give me a crash course.
The first thing I heard from you was a little cry. You were not much bigger than a couple of hands but you were strong. You fought like no one I had ever seen before. No one deserves to go through what you went through, but you handled it all like a champ.
I never got to hold you and sing to you like most mommas do. I never got to tell you how much I love you every day. I will never get to see you grow up and follow your dreams. But I know that you are watching me and daddy and your brother every day. You are my speacial angel. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and miss you. I am sorry that I could not do more to ease your pain.
You are my sunshine. You taught me more than I could have learned in all my life in eleven short days. I love you my sweet little baby boy. Have a Happy Birthday!
Love,
Momma