How softly you tiptoed into my world, so silently, only a moment you stayed, but what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart.
I have NICUdar
Last night Ken, Connor, my nephew, Stephen, and I went to dinner at Outback. (Damn diet!) I have begun to notice that there are a lot of pregnant women out lately. I wonder if the warm weather brings them out. Weird. I wanted to be inside when it was 4 billion degrees and 4 thousand percent humidity. Anyway, I noticed a lady at a table near us that looked pregnant. I was just about to mention my observation to Ken when I noticed she had a hospital band on. I wondered if maybe she was going in for some sort of shots or something like that. Then I noticed her husband had a hospital band on too. There was no baby with them. Uh oh. I know what that means. They more than likely have a baby in the NICU.

Ken and I discussed it back and forth. What if I was wrong. Maybe I should go over and say something. I want to be some sort of support. I don't want to interrupt their dinner though. That would be rude. They were with one set of grandparents. Maybe they had just lost the baby. I had been there and it didn't look like it. Crap, I should do something. Connor was with us and I didn't want to throw that in their faces. Seeing other children can be hard. I know that.

The more we watched them the more we saw the signs. You know, that NICU stare. We are here, but we're really exhausted. We want to be at the hospital and we've been on this roller coaster that just won't end. It was all there. Their salads arrived and I really didn't want to interrupt them then. But, this was it. This is what I want to do. This is my calling. Help families in the NICU. It's not my personality to just get up in a restaurant and go talk to someone I know. What do I do? Maybe I have one of my old business cards. Nope. I should go over. Crap. I just can't.

I had an old business card. I corrected the email address on it and wrote on the back "NICU mom of a 29w2dayer. Call of email if you need to talk or would like support." That was it. I would just tell them I saw the bands and thought they had a child in the NICU and wanted to give them my card. No. That would be intruding again.

Their waiter brought us our food. PERFECT!!!!! He asked if he could do anything else. I asked if he would give the card to the young couple at the table. He was their waiter. He had every reason to go over. He said it would be no problem. What a relief. He gave it to them and I saw that they passed it around the table.

Ken mentioned that he felt like he was being watched while he ate. I agreed. Then I started to second guess myself. What if I was wrong. What if they don't have a baby in the NICU? What if it was something very simple? I would feel like a total idiot. Oh well. At least I had tried.

This is where I had intended to end my post, but as we were leaving the woman stopped me. She thanked me for the card. I told her I had noticed their bands. Her baby had been born at 33 weeks. She had been having problem with the placenta and her blood pressure and the baby had plateaued in growth so the doctors had gone ahead and taken the baby. He weighed 3 pounds 4 ounces. She said he had done fine the first few days, but then he got wimpy white boy syndrome and had to be put on a ventilator. He had come off of it and they had held him Saturday, but they got a call at 2 that morning telling them they were putting him back on. She said it had been a roller coaster. We talked for a few minutes and I told her that I understood. If she needed anyone to talk to that she could call or email anytime.

We went outside and Ken asked if I was all tingly inside. I just smiled really big. I was right. I WAS RIGHT!!! I wanted to call Queen and tell her, but she was at a wedding. I called Mom and told her. Ken said I looked like I had just asked out the hot guy and he had said yes. That's when I realized I had it. Funny. Something I never wanted. I have NICUdar.